Waking Up With Leah

  Wow, it's been a long time since I wrote a blog on here (however, I have begun a movie/tv/book review blog at raisincookie.wordpress.com which has taken some of my time up). I figured it's about time I start it up again, and while I was at work, I came up with the perfect blog.
    Before I get into this, I have to say that I can't take all of the credit (or really, ANY of the credit) for this blog, as I came across this exact thought process in the new Pete Wilson book "Empty Promises" (in which he was quoting Tim Keller). I'm merely expanding on that, and adding some personal experiences. So, with proper credit given to whom it should be given, here we go!

    One of the most intriguing stories in the Bible is the story of Jacob. His childhood was a messed up situation of sibling rivalry, parental favouritism, lies and deceit, and his adulthood was also filled with deceit, broken promises and false expectations. for those unfamiliar with the adult portion of Jacob's life, here is a brief synopsis:

           Jacob, after deceiving his father and stealing his brothers birthright, runs away to his uncle Laban's house, where he falls in love with Rachel (who was beautiful). Now, the problem was, Rachel was the youngest daughter, and therefore, according to custom had to wait until her older sister was married. Rachel's older sister Leah, was not atractive to Jacob, and so he works out a deal in which he would work for his uncle for seven years, and then be able to marry Rachel. So, that's what he does. He labours for seven long years, and finally gets married. Unfortunately, the morning after the wedding, Jacob realizes that he has married Leah. He then works an additional seven years in order to marry Rachel.

    Talk about a let-down. Working so hard, giving EVERYTHING you have towards something, only to find out that what you worked for wasn't really what you wanted. It's easy to laugh or scoff at Jacob's gullibility and stupidity. We think to ourselves, "How can you be so dense, that you work for SEVEN years and end up being duped into marrying the older, uglier sister?" But the truth is, we aren't far off from what Jacob did ourselves.

       How often do we think that, "If only I can get THAT job", "If I could only marry THIS person", "If only I could live THERE", "If I only had THIS much money". We have these goals, dreams and hopes that we think will fulfill and satisfy us. Not saying that dreams and hopes are bad, because they aren't. It's important to dream, important to have hopes and goals...but it's dangerous to think that those goals, hopes and dreams, when (or if) they are ever achieved will satisfy us. So we work hard. Dedicating our lives, putting all of our energy into getting that job, finding that spouse, living in that house, making that money, wearing those clothes. We work for our "Rachel". Only, when we finally wake up in the morning, we discover that our "Rachel" is actually "Leah".

     The things we think will fulfill us. The things we think will make us happy, satisfied and content, won't measure up. Yeah...we may have a fun night or two. When we reach our goal. When we acheive our dreams, it seems GREAT at first. I'm sure Jacob had a fantastic wedding night...but eventually, the morning comes. The light comes in, and we see our "Rachel" for what she really is. Either we realize that what we initially wanted isn't as good as once thought, or we see someone else with something better than what we have. We finally get our dream job, only to discover that there is an even BETTER dream job out there. We get to the financial standing that we dreamt of, only to realize that we want more. We find that spouse, only to soon discover that they don't make us as happy as we thought they would. We move to a new place, and find out that it rains there too.

     For me, my "Rachel" was drama. It was achievement. I wanted people to accept me. To be good at something. I wanted people to look at me and see someone who they looked up to and respected. So, I went to Bible School with the expectation of being the best thing that happened to the drama department. I wanted to do that drama tours, the Productions, Plays...everything. I wanted to be a star. So I worked for it. But I found out that...it wasn't meant to be. I worked to get to my Rachel, and I ended up getting nothing. I put all my energy into being accepted. I put everything I had into being a somebody. Into trying to make a name for myself (at least in the small Bible school circles). When I didn't end up with my "Rachel", when I didn't make any drama teams, or productions or anything, I was beyond devastated. I formed my identity in drama. Without that, without acting, I was nothing. I had no fall-back.
    It's happened with relationships...thinking that this girlfriend, this spouse, this friend will complete me. But, with all due respect to Jerry Maguire...they DON'T complete you. Yeah, it's great to have somebody to love, it's great to have someone who loves you back, respects you. But if you are looking to humans. If you are looking to Sucess. Finances. Achievements. Fame. to complete you, you will never be completed. You will be a puzzle with a missing piece. A book with a missing page. A gourmet dish with a missing ingredient. You will always be a Jacob waking up with a Leah.

     When we put our hope in THINGS. in PEOPLE, DREAMS, GOALS...we will be let down. We will wake up next to Leah every day. We need to put our hope in Christ. Take our fulfillment from him. Realize that, whatever happens to us. Whether we have the dream job, beautiful spouse, breathtaking view, angelic kids, filled bank account or not...God loves us. God cares for us. God is PLEASED with us.

    I pray that you, and I, won't fall into the Jacob trap. My prayer is that we won't look for fulfillment, peace, acceptance and love solely in our "Rachel". My deepest hope is that we will look to Christ. Christ will never let us down. Christ will never disappoint. When we work for a "Rachel". we will always get a Leah. Every time.