Judas' Feast

Well...it's nearing Easter. Ok...so it's about a month away, but I figure I would get a good start on Easter themed blogs. I've been thinking a lot lately about Judas, and the major role he plays in the Easter story. We seem to look at Judas in a bad light. I guess rightly so, as he DID betray Jesus with a kiss and sell him to the Pharisees for money. But I think we forget that, if it wasn't for Judas, Easter would never have happened (or at least, not in the way it did). Judas, through his greed and betrayel, actually allowed Jesus to fulfill his destiny. So, my question is this...did Judas really have a choice? Did Judas consciously decide to sell Jesus, and send him to the cross, or did God USE Judas to do those things? If Judas didn't do it, would someone else have done it, or would history and Christianity have been forever changed?
I'm not trying to say that we should rever what Judas did, and see him as a hero, but I am wondering if perhaps, painting him as the ultimate villain is a bit unfair. I guess the fact that Judas felt guilty afterwards, and killed himself, should be a clue that he CHOSE to betray Christ, and God just was able to use that deception for the ultimate good...but it was also prophesied. Jesus KNEW what his purpose was on Earth. He KNEW that Judas would betray him when he chose him as a disciple. Does the fact that Jesus knew this make what Judas did more than just a choice, and instead a pre-destined decision? If Judas didn't really have a choice in the matter, and it was HIS destiny and purpose to betray Christ, then I think we have looked at Judas all wrong for the two thousand or so years. I don't have an answer. I just don't know how to look at it. What do you think? Have we misrepresented Judas for all this time? Or is he truly the ultimate villain? Also...as a side note..do you think Judas is in heaven? After all, if it wasn't for him, Jesus never would have been able to make Salvation available for everyone?
Either way though, can you imagine being Judas at the Last Supper? The whole meal, knowing what you are going to do. I doubt he was even able to taste the food, or enjoy the conversation. His stomach was likely in knots, and chances are he was feeling sick. And then, having Jesus call him out in front of everyone! Talk about humiliation. It was bad enough that he knew what he was going to do...but having Jesus send him out to do it. I can't even imagine what that would have been like. Did he have a moment of regret, before it happened? Did he hesitate before taking the pieces of silver? Did he ever think of kissing one of the other disciples instead? Or maybe, the meal was an exciting time for him. Maybe his adrenaline was pumping and his blood was flowing because he knew that he was going to forever change history. He knew that he was going to send a good, innocent man to the cross, and that excited him! Perhaps he truly was evil...and the idea of no one knowing what was going to happen got his heart pumping...and then Jesus figured it out. Jesus caught him...read his mind, saw his heart. And told everyone at the table that Judas would betray him. There must have been a silence, deafening silence. Judas likely went red with embarrassment. Perhaps he tried to lie, saying "no...of course not (cough cough). I would never betray you Jesus!" Chills going up his arm.
I don't know what was going on in Judas' head during the meal. As I said before...I don't even fully know whether Judas had a TRUE choice in the betrayal in the first place. But whether the meal was filled with heart thumping excitement, or stomach turning anxiety, i know that the meal would have been a very different experience for Judas compared to all the other disciples.
What are your thoughts about Judas? Do you have any answers, or questions? Do you thionk Judas had a choice, or was it his destiny that he had to fulfill? Makes you wonder a bit, doesn't it? Either way...without Judas, Easter would be VERY different today!